Learning How to Fail from the Hajj
In all of the discussions and informal counseling I have provided in my role at Taleef, I have yet to meet a person whose life went according to their plans. I don’t mean plans that naturally evolve, or goals that we change out of our own choice. I mean plans that go seriously awry. Plans that fail. For so many of us, our own journeys to Islam are wrapped up in these failures. And through these experiences, we see that our failures are often God’s victories. These are the times in our lives when God saves us from something that would be genuinely terrible for us, or He simply wants to be more generous with us than we could possibly be with ourselves. But failure can be ugly or it can be beautiful. We can do it with grace or we can be dragged through it, kicking and screaming. There is an art to failure and the Hajj teaches us this art.
The story of the Hajj is a story of family, the place where we experience some of our most intense shortcomings. It’s the story of our Prophets Ibrahim and Ismail, may God grant them peace, and of our mother Hajjar. Many with a Christian or Jewish background will already be familiar with the beginning of this story from Genesis 16, in which Hajjar, the servant of Ibrahim’s wife, Sarah, is scorned by her mistress after becoming pregnant by Ibrahim. She flees into the wilderness of Arabia, where she has an encounter with one of God’s angels at a well.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ relates this same story to us with greater, and slightly different, details. He tells us that Ibrahim led Hajjar into the wilderness after the birth of Ismail. He took them to the place where the city of Mecca sits today--at that time a barren desert valley. When he turned around to leave, Hajjar began asking him, “O Ibrahim! Where are you going, leaving us alone in this valley where there is nothing to sustain us?” Ibrahim would not respond to her. She pleaded with him, asking the same question again and again. But still he would not respond. Finally, she asked him, “Did your Lord command you to do this?” Ibrahim told her, “yes.” And she responded, “Then I am content with Allah.” After Ibrahim departed, Hajjar began to run between the mountains of Safa and Marwa, looking for water. She ran back and forth seven times, an act that pilgrims to Mecca still perform to this day. However, their deliverance came not from her efforts but from the Angel Gabriel, may God grant him peace. He struck the earth with his wing and a spring began to gush forth so profusely that Hajjar shouted, “Zam zam,” or “stop stop,” asking Allah to ease its flow. This is the well of Zamzam that pilgrims still drink from to this day. The water attracted birds, which attracted Beduins from the tribe of Jurhum. With Hajjar’s permission, they settled there, and together founded the city of Mecca.
This is only part of the story of the Hajj. But it is enough for us to take away profound lessons. The overarching lesson here is that beautiful things are often the result of our plans falling apart. The well of Zamzam, the city of Mecca, and the mission of God’s Messenger ﷺ, and thus our means of worshiping God, are all the result of Ibrahim and Hajjar sacrificing the plans they had for their lives. Their example can guide us through the sacrifices we make to obey God and draw nearer to Him. Our Mother Hajjar, in particular, can teach us three beautiful lessons here.
It is only natural, when we are tested, to become disoriented, confused, and flustered. We ask, “why is this happening to me?” God often tests us by taking us off the script we have for our lives. Hajjar likely expected to raise Ismail in the safety and comfort of Ibrahim’s home. When it became clear to her that Ibrahim would leave her alone in the desert with their son, she had the normal reaction of asking why. Her lesson to us comes from what she did next: she moved from reactionary fear and anxiety to a state of remembering God. “If God commanded this, then I am content.” We can also do this. We can remember that the One who created our adversity will also guide us through it to a resolution that He will also create. The trials we face, rather that being things that we flee from, endure, or battle alone, can become opportunities for fleeing to God’s mercy and care.
Our mother Hajjar’s trust in God, however, did not lead to inaction. She did not sit back and wait for God’s deliverance to arrive. Rather, she actively sought it out by ascending the mountains of Safa and Marwa, back and forth seven times, looking for water or someone who might help her. Her outward state mirrored her inner state: first she fled to God then she hurried to find His deliverance. Her second lesson to us is that God acts through the means of this world, and that He often uses us to bring about the things we seek. Faith is not a passive belief that we simply hold in our hearts; it is something that demands our participation. When we move by faith, God’s deliverance is promised and it often is better than what we could plan for ourselves.
However, God’s deliverance did not come through Hajjar’s efforts. It was a true miracle that was far better than anything she could have done herself. God sent His angel, Gabriel, to strike the ground to reveal the well of Zamzam. The water from this well was so abundant that it not only nourished Hajjar and Ismail, it also continues to nourish pilgrims to Mecca until today. This is God’s lesson to us: when we remember Him and move with certain faith in Him, He will help us in ways that we cannot imagine, from places that we cannot expect. His generosity outstrips anything we could have imagined for ourselves. Many of you certainly have stories like this. Your life goes off-script and takes you to a place that frightens you. You descend into doubt and self-pity; you ask why it had to happen to you. But, in the end, God’s plan turns out to be better than your own.
Hajj is the story of every one of our lives: of the failure and brokenheartedness we endure on the path to God, of the strength and nearness to Him we find along the way. The ritual reenactment of these moments from the lives of Ibrahim, Hajjar, and Ismail show us the reality of our own journeys. We, too, will find our own wells of Zamzam, those miracles in our own lives that are just as improbable as water gushing from a rock in the desert, which give life to us and all those who are near to us. So, as we enter into the first days of the month of Dhul Hijja, reflect upon the miracles God has given you, and your own best laid plans from which He has delivered you. Resolve to remember that God is always near, and to be with Him, as your move forward.
May God grant us all the grace to fail beautifully. Ameen.